I would like everyone to keep in mind that during those years, Bella had never had any medical treatments nor biomedical help. It wasn't until 2011 ,which was the beginning of her 4th grade year, that she started her healing and recovery road. We did not know autism was in fact medical and that other issues even existed as we were told as most are "autism is a brain disorder", more about our story here. Although we had ups and downs during those years we had a wonderful teacher who was very receptive to what I was learning and what I was doing in order to help Bella's health. It was very challenging changing up the food and routines, but we got through it and I am VERY thankful to that teacher and her assistants whom have been so very patient and willing to help us get Sabrina though it all and stay on the right track in her schooling during this time. 5th grade was with a new teacher, she was receptive but less supportive and inquisitive. She seamed more concerned with her feelings then her job as a teacher. Regardless ,again we made it through another year. However, I knew 6th grade was going to be a whole new ball game as they were moving up into a new school , new kids, new teachers , principles and staff. A whole new world that would either make or break her. I was lucky that by the time 5th grade ended sabrina was so done with the "baby school" and she was SO excited to start in a new 'big kid" school. By that point we were 2 years into the biomeds and going in the right direction. She was doing well and I really didn't have too many concerns. The program was going to be created and extend into the middle school. 8:1:2 and she was going to continue getting her specials as well as the opportunity to integrate with typical peers. Everything sounded great. We went to the building, toured it a few times. Had her all excited to go, met the new teacher whom we really liked. She was also very receptive about our journey and continued to support us in anyway that she could. 6th grade didn't seam like it would turn out to be too bad. They had created a schedule that seamed appropriate and bottom line, my child was super excited to go.
As the year started she met a friend ,Sapphire who would become her very good friend that year. She seamed to adjust without a problem and seamed to love being in a new building having her own locker and feeling I'm sure much more independent. My girl was always very independent. Now throughout this time sabrina had some difficulties in school. Academically she was struggling and behaviors were becoming more frequent which is NOT like her. In 2013 we started homotoxicology to help her body continue to get healthy and heal with detoxing . You can read more here . So I know that going through that had played some parts of the ups and downs. And her main teacher was very aware of what we were doing and I had always kept her informed prior to any new protocol or changes that may effect her behavior. But towards the end of the year it seamed to have changed into something more. Also during that time, I had issues with her speech therapist as she was much older, obviously had little to no experience with our kids , I mean how could she if we are the first class? She acted as if she knew it all, but the sad part was that she was very closed minded ,not receptive and actually I feel manipulative when it came to truth telling to other staff members,especially her superiors. So as you could imagine I was not very happy with how she was running things, and when questioned and given my advice as to what I wanted to see happen she would lie and say she'd do it, or check into it, and yet nothing would get done. It wasn't until I went over her head to her superiors that I started to get heard. I can get into all the details but really it doesn't matter at this point. I fought for what I believed in and ultimately after blood sweat and tears, got what I wanted by then end of 6th grade and not only for her. She got though 6th grade, and then summer session was definitely challenging. It was better then the prior year but getting phone calls and going up there alot was not my idea of retainment, but we got through it. Then came September and the second year of middle school. 7th grade, supposed to be easier so I thought, well boy oh boy was I wrong!
Since the first few days, between having a jerk for a bus driver and when Bella first went to class and learned her BFF sapphire was no longer at the school, it DEVASTATED her! They would eat lunch together everyday, now she was alone and felt very alone. You can imagine kids at this age are not very accepting, many bully and give nasty looks and name call. Bella fell subject to that, I know she has. She only would wear hello kitty at that time so that was an easy target for her to be made fun of. Some think I should of made her wear other clothes, but being a victim of bullying my whole childhood, I was NOT going to let my child back down. She was going to know that she is beautiful, and special and if she loved Hello Kitty clothes then thats what she is going to wear. These kids love Hollister..then good for them ,they can wear that. She will NEVER be told not to be who she is or do what she loves and especially how to dress to apease others,no matter what the age. That is wear teachers and parents have to step in and teach LOVE, acceptance and understanding of others. That no one is better then the next and that being a goof friend to those who can use one is what is needed. Not to change who we are or who she is just because someone else is a jerk. I feel that way with all children. I instill that it in BOTH my children. So I feel that this girl Sapphire was that friend, whom stuck up for her who was there for her and now with her gone it became catastrophic in her eyes. Bella started to shut down and closed off herself and started acting out behaviorally. She started eloping from lunch daily. It got to the point she didn't even want to sit in the cafeteria anymore. Her teacher and staff had made a unused room into a 'safe place" for her to go and eat by herself with a staff member. Its really quite sad. They did try to help her, but some things no one can fix. It was Bella's first lesson in feeling "loss" real loss. She was heartbroken as i was for her too. So that didn't help the start of this year. Then on top of that she was in mist of her physical change , puberty. Her period was going to be starting and that physical change and stress alone had her going in all directions. Plus at that time we had stopped the homeopathic treatments for a month or so since financially we were having difficulties so I know that didn't help matters too. By October I was up there almost everyday from the phone calls of her lack of compliance. It lead to a call I received to go up there in which this time her teacher didn't greet me but the assistant principal did. I was escorted into the principal's office in which I was sat down and told that Sabrina scratched her TA (teacher aide) and broke skin so now Bella was suspended from school and had to remain at home for 3 days. I was APPALLED at them! To make a long story short, I tried to explain about her friend, her devastation, the puberty and how her autism cannot get suspended. HOW did this TA get scratched? They tell me she went to pick Bella up during a meltdown...well HELLO... BINGO! WHY would you do that?! There is an informal behavior plan in which all know if she gets to melt down mode you step away and let her ride it out. SHE has to calm herself, and anyone getting close (including myself ) can get hurt. They felt they were justified and I was sent home with Bella. My mind was spinning and racing I KNEW they couldn't do that. I knew it was because ,like me, they were at wits end and did not know what to do or how to handle it. I had major phone calls to do, to head of special Ed and the Superintendent in schools , to lawyers and friends. I informed them of what happened and learned I was right. That "manifestation of her disability" is not justified for a suspension, its actually illegal! The next day I actually went up to the school again to speak to the principle about that, and I wanted to see the TA hand she scratched. I mean if blood was drawn you should still have a mark, no? Well after them trying to get out of bringing her down and my persistence they finally did and there was NOTHING! I went to take a picture even and was informed I could not. I called bullshit. Also I learned that not only did they try to grab her, but were instructed to hold her down by her wrists and ankles until she stopped!!! I wanted to SCREAM and PUNCH them all! Are you f**KIng for real?! The WORST thing to do during a melt down is to restrain a child, HOW can this happen?!! So Yes after a few calls to some lawyers and higher ups, Bella suspension was overturned and removed from her file. I still was not apologized to. I immediately removed Bella from school. I had brought her to see our MAPS doc and filled him in on what was going on and he was horrified to hear this. We also got back to our homotoxicologist which given the new protocol helped her tremendously!! Puberty was definitely kicking her ass in that sense. And our MAPS wrote me a letter that Bella should have home teaching until further notice due to medical reasons. Home teaching is when the school send a substitute to your home to do the school work instead of sending the child into school. The school gave me a hard time, but did so. They also tried to send her to Boces , with the more severe children, a placement that was not suitable for her. I did not have the time to check out neighboring districts about their programs and honestly most districts around me bus thier special ed kids to the district I am already in. So she had home teaching for about another month. I needed more time to figure things out. More time to see if homeschooling was an option. In that time, meeting after meeting, email after email and still no apology and to make it quite frank, I had the Head of Special education tell me that what her staff did was appropriate?!!! I am sorry but if ANY school thinks restraining a child in full meltdown is appropriate then we have a VERY serious problem. After a lengthy email saying so, I made the decision to homeschool her. On December 12, 2014 she was officially removed from school and her HIP ( Home individualized education plan) submitted which was approved that following monday. I was unsure if I made the right decision, I was afraid if I could really be capable of teaching Bella what she needs to know. I prayed and asked God for a sign and to lead me. Since then I have gotten my answers, and my decision to keep her home became clear...that is was not only a good one, but the right one for her. So thats why we are now homeschooling. She mentions going back to "a new school' from time to time. If she ever returned into a district , I guarantee it will NOT be in this one. Right now homeschooling is working for her, for us. She is happier, less stressed as am I. I see first hand what she already knows, what she wants to learn and HOW she learns. We go see an outside speech therapist twice a week who has help her more then that other one ever did at 5 times a week! I have to say it has been quite a blessing in disguise. Now I know its not for everyone. If you have an awesome school, with a great program and its working for you like it did for us for many years then Good for you! I am happy, but if you have had horror after horror stories and having difficulty I will highly recommend looking into homeschooling your special needs child. Lets face it, no one knows them better then we do. The schools do not have the correct support nor enough support to help our kids. Our children have gone through enough, they are unique and have different ways of learning. Funny thing, The head of special ed felt that by me homeschooling I was giving Bella the most restricted way to learn. As if it was a bad thing. i know the politics and i know the funding runs with who attends their schools so they can try to manipulate you the way doctors do when you make that decision they are opposed to or will be affected negatively by. SCREW THEM! What this person failed to realize and I was quite happy to inform her of is that actually Bella will now has the FREEDOM to learn. Freedom to learn the way she is capable of learning, freedom to learn on HER time, not by a strict schedule on their terms. Freedom to learn about life hands on. Freedom to socialize everywhere we go. And freedom to be in a stress free and SAFE environment, where she will never be restrained again! Freedom to continue to heal and recover her health without incident to others and without scrutiny. Homeschooling is actually the LEAST restrictive because what WE says Goes! You can imagine everyone at that table's mouth dropped. And I left that last CSE with my head held high. I know whats best for my child, and being at home and learning with Mom is whats best.
So I just recently dropped off her 3rd quarter report. She is doing well, and I think we are still finding our rhythm but overall she is doing great. Sorry that this is lengthy, imagine if I made it detailed lol , but I wanted everyone to know why and understand why we choose to go this route. And hopefully to empower other parents who might be dealing with and going through what we had. Here is some great information pertaining to homeschooling special needs children. And in the meantime, my advice to you is don't ever make any quick rash decisions. Gather as much information you can, speak to others that have gone through it and most importantly know your not alone and there are CHOICES for our kids. God Bless and Be well my friends! ~ Heather
Homeschooling Your Child with Autism Spectrum Disorder: The Basics
Advantages of Homeschooling A Child With Autism
Autism Homeschooling Resources
Resources to assist families with homeschooling and autism awareness
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As you can see she has been experiencing all sorts of things since then. Socialization, dance and Karate lessons, doing her "paper" work having fun and exploring many places ,like any child should. :)
Some books that have helped me .....
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Here are some of our favorite programs we utilize. Click on the name to learn more about the program:
FastForward
Hearbuilder
BrainBeat
ABCya!
JumpStart
ABCmouse
